Navigating Cultural Differences: Insights from an Intercultural Relationship

The YouTube video “CULTURAL DIFFERENCES | INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIP!” by Steven & Monica offers a glimpse into the complexities and rewards of navigating an intercultural relationship. The couple, initially from different countries, share their experiences with cultural differences that affect their relationship. This analysis will discover some of the main points stated in the video, offering an overview of the challenges and victories of intercultural couples.

Some points about intercultural relationships that we have from the video are:

1. Communication Styles

The first point that can be analyzed from Steven and Monica's relationship is their communication styles. They come from different countries; Monica is from Honduras, so she speaks Spanish, and her husband, Steven, is from France, so he speaks French. Although her mother tongue is Spanish, she can speak French but is not a hundred percent fluent. Sometimes, she says phrases or expressions that she uses in her country, and it sounds quite strange but funny to her husband. Furthermore, they both can speak English, so it helps them to communicate. Monica and Steven can communicate fluently although their first languages are different. However, many people perhaps have difficulties overcoming language barriers when they speak with someone who has a different first language. There are several guidelines offered by Reynolds and Valentine (2011) in their book titled Guide to Cross-cultural Communication (Second Edition). One of the things must be attended to is word choices. We must be careful to choose words and avoid disrespectful words when we speak with someone who has a different language, especially if they are non-natives English speakers. Back to the Monica and Steven case, Steven does not use disrespectful words when Monica says something strange and it reflects a healthy cross-cultural communication. 

1. Family Dynamics and Expectations

In Honduras, there is a tradition to spend time with family at night when dinner, unlike in a big city of France which is quite busy with their work and they do not really have so much time to spend with families. So, it feels weird for the husband to spend more than two hours with the family to get to know each other after having dinner together. However, they respect each other and learn to understand their partners’ different cultures. This intercultural relationship shows different cultures in terms of high and low context culture. As in Guide to Cross-cultural Communication (Second Edition) by Reynolds and Valentine (2011), the low context culture emphasizes individual initiative (work, eat, sleep, work again, and so on) while high context culture emphasizes on spending time to maintain strong relationships with family and friends. 

1. Cultural Values and Beliefs

 They indeed have different cultures because they come from different countries. There are several cultural differences such as lifestyle. In France,  especially in Paris (a big city), the routine is around sleep, work, and eating. Although it is only common in big cities. Meanwhile, in Honduras, they usually spend more time with their friends and family. They must be able to adapt because of their different lifestyle. Moreover, French's food and Honduras' food are very different. In French, the main meal is bread. Bread is like drinking water there. Meanwhile, in Honduras, they love to eat spicy and fried stuff. It is totally different and they must adapt with it. Besides lifestyle and food, there are religious differences between French and Honduras. In Honduras, people prioritize going to church (for Christians) but in French people mostly do not really concern about that. Although they have different beliefs, they still respect each other.  The last one is about table manners. In French, they have a knife, a fork, and a spoon to eat in three sections such as entry, meat dish, and dessert. Meanwhile, in Honduras people usually can eating only use their fingers. Those cultural differences does not make them feel impossible for them to live together. As long as they both can respect each other and learn to understand each other.  A relationship with different cultures is challenging, as Monica and Steven who have so many differences in their lifestyle. Thus, the couple must learn how to understand each other's cultures as in the book Guide to Cross-cultural Communication by Reynolds and Valentine (2011), such as understanding how low and high context cultures communicate with others, view the relationship with others, and rely on others in their life. 

1. Conflict Resolution

Couples from different cultures often have different ways of dealing with problems. Some like to talk to the point, while others prefer to remain silent to protect their feelings. This video shows that the key is to understand each other's communication style. For example, when one party is angry, it may be their way of showing concern, not because they hate each other, we have to understand that. Successful couples usually make ground rules such as not shouting during an argument or giving time to calm down before discussing to solve the problem. So the problem is discussed with a cool head. They also learn to ask, "What do you really mean?" rather than immediately getting angry when there is a misunderstanding. The point is, conflict is not avoided, but managed patiently and wisely.

1. Adaptation and Compromise

This video provides a real example of how couples should indeed adjust to each other's habits. Some start learning to eat spicy food even though they actually don't like it and are not used to spicy food, or try to celebrate holidays that are not their tradition and they have never celebrated them. But in a family, there is also a firmness about things that cannot be compromised, such as religious beliefs or important values in a family that have existed and have become family traditions for a long time. The key is to be flexible in small things, but firm in basic principles. One of the couples in the video tells how they created new traditions, such as cooking together every week with a mixed menu of both cultures between them. This shows that intercultural relationships are not about who wins, but about creating something new together.

1. Compare and Contrast

This video is interesting because it focuses not only on differences but also on similarities. Couples often compare their cultures - for example, how they show affection or raise their children. But they do it with curiosity, not blame. One great example is when they discover that both cultures value family, just in different ways. They also make a list of things from each culture that they want to keep in their relationship. This approach helps them not get caught up in the "my culture is better" mindset, but instead create the best of both worlds.

1. Offer Personal Anecdotes

Based on YouTube videos, some people must have experienced something similar. As someone who has been in a relationship with someone from a different cultural background, I realize that differences can be both a challenge and a learning experience. These differences can include values, norms, customs, and habits. Another example is the different ways people express their emotions and resolve conflicts.  Both of these aspects need to be understood so that differences do not lead to division but instead strengthen and shape relationships. This experience has taught me the importance of open communication and thinking, as well as the importance of empathy and mutual respect in building good cross-cultural relationships.

1. Provide Insights

From the video, we can see that differences can affect the smoothness of relationships between individuals. An example of a difference in Steven and Monica's relationship is the language barrier, with one speaking Spanish and the other French. The lifestyles of Spanish and French people also differ. In France, people typically spend their time eating, working, and sleeping, while in Spanish , people have more time for rest, socializing with friends, and spending time with family. From this, we can recognize the importance of cultural awareness, sensitivity, and understanding of such differences. In the context of intercultural relationships, understanding the cultural background and values of each partner can help reduce misunderstandings and enhance the harmony of the relationship.

1. Relate to Indonesian Context

The cultural differences, especially in relationships such as that between Steven and Monica, are certainly not much different from those in Indonesia. As we know, Indonesia is a country rich in cultural diversity, often serving as a meeting point for various cultural backgrounds, both in personal and professional relationships. For example, inter-ethnic or inter-religious marriages are very common and frequently occur. From this example, we can see that differences are not only challenges but also bridges that connect cultures, thereby minimizing cultural misunderstandings. In this context, understanding and valuing cultural differences are key to building better relationships. Additionally, in professional contexts such as the workplace, the ability to interact effectively with colleagues from diverse cultural backgrounds is a valuable experience that broadens our perspectives. Cultural differences between Indonesia and other countries may be vastly different, but some of these differences can be studied and analyzed to determine whether they are appropriate to apply and whether they have a positive or negative impact.

 

Steven and Monica's journey through intercultural relationships is not without its challenges. However, the couple was able to deal with it by communicating openly so that they could respect each other. In addition, they also had the will to learn each other's culture, so that they were able to understand the differences in their cultures. The intercultural relationship that Steven and Monica have is a strong and complementary relationship despite having different cultural backgrounds. The key to the success of their relationship lies in accepting cultural differences as a way to grow into better people and being able to navigate the relationship by accepting and learning from each other as an opportunity to grow.

link video: https://youtu.be/Fd0Q3Wtqvgo?si=9YwvSDyMbhWLIaRk