Unemployment and Self-Compassion

Increase Your Self-Compassion

To be able to develop self-compassion in daily life, we need to be SABAR: (a) Be aware (Sadari), (b) Acknowledge (Akui), (c) Learn (Belajar), (d) Affirmation (Afirmasi), and (e) Plan (Rencanakan). here is the explanation:

(1) Be aware (Sadari). When facing problems (related to the condition of not being accepted for work), we need to be aware of various potential negative emotions that arise naturally. Be aware of and observe the different emotions that may be experienced, such as sadness, anger, disappointment, upset, fear, worry, anxiety, guilt, and frustration. We also need to realize that these various types of negative emotions can cause multiple other adverse conditions, such as a gloomy face, a raised voice, withdrawal, speaking harshly or rudely, behaving negatively towards others, panicking, or difficulty concentrating. 

(2) Admit (Akui). We need to acknowledge the negative emotions or conditions we are experiencing. Confession can be made by writing a personal note or by disclosing it to the right person. When it comes to writing, we may be confused about where to start; But there is no provision whether our writing must use good and correct grammar, must be neat, must be orderly, or must be perfect. The most important thing about acknowledging (both in writing and verbally)is that we feel we can express negative feelings or conditions more objectively, see problems from different perspectives, or view life more realistically, and there is a feeling of acceptance.

(3) Learn (Belajar). We need to reflect on and gain wisdom or meaning from the negative experiences we are going through. Wisdom is the lesson about things that are valuable/meaningful/valuable from an experience, especially negative experiences. In seeking wisdom, we can read, listen, or discuss with others (especially those who have had similar experiences or problems). By seeking wisdom, we can gain inspiration and motivation. Stay confident that every problem faced, there will always be a solution; Behind every difficulty, there will be opportunities to grow into more mature; When the mind is stuck and says "It's hard, it's okay to give up, tired", the conscience whispers: "'Try one more time'"; "Success does not belong to smart people. The success belongs to those who continue to try" (B.J. Habibie). In essence, wisdom will make us more open, positive, and motivated.

(4) Affirmation (Afirmasi). The term affirmation refers to positive statements that are spoken, written, or thought repetitively to reinforce a person's beliefs, motivations, or mindset. There is nothing to prohibit us from having the mindset that we want to get a decent job with a fantastic salary. However, we need to verify whether our mindset or expectations align sufficiently with our abilities. It may be that our mindset or expectations are sometimes not in line with the current situation or condition. Therefore, we need to adjust our expectations in our mindset to match our condition, capacity, education, experience, and skills that we excel in. Some affirmations that we can state, for example: all work is good, as long as it is halal; success is not seen by how much we get, but by how much (honesty, discipline, and help) we give; love the task/job that is in front of us, not the task/job that is not in front of us; Great success (work) starts from the attitude of accepting small things (work). Various affirmations or positive statements can help increase self-confidence and maintain enthusiasm.

(5) Plan (Rencanakan). The final stage of the self-loving process involves creating a realistic plan for personal growth and development. We remain optimistic that good opportunities do not come just once; good opportunities will come many times. When we don't close our minds, there will always be opportunities for us to try. Continue to prepare ourselves to face new opportunities, such as learning foreign languages, mastering software and computers, public speaking, pursuing certifications and training, and exercising the body and mind.

Self-compassion is the strength we need to survive amid today's difficulties of finding a job. The problem of difficulty finding a job is a common issue faced by almost everyone, not just those who are currently experiencing it. As Nelson Mandela said, "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." By practicing self-compassion, we create space for recovery, learning, and continued growth. Let's develop self-compassion together for the mental health of Indonesia's young generation.

Authors: 

Rachel Virenna. Cindy Angelina, Jennifer Susanto Teo, Kelyn Arsyandha, & P. Tommy Y. S. Suyasa

References: