I’d like to give my response to current article regarding President Jokowi’s fashion sense and style as scrutinized by some fellow Kompasianer(s). It has come to my attention that someone considered the president as “urakan” -- a Javanese term, which connotes to the meaning of 'misbehaving' or 'indecent attitude'. As a native Indonesia language, who happen to be a native Javanese, too, I understand that "urakan" is NOT the same as "norak" in Indonesia language. Norak may have similar sound as urakan, and yet the latter (urakan) may mean deeper than mere superficial meaning.
Generally speaking, people easily speak of other people’s negative points and won’t give merit to their other sides. In the case of parents, they could do it by making discrediting comments on the way the young people dress themselves, dress or cut their hair, make social contacts, or on their attitude towards hard work to achieve a life goal.
In the case of teenagers or young people, they could do it by making frustrating remarks on the ways the parents of their friends give or refuse to give permission to their children, their ways of giving advice, and their methods of educating them.
In the case of other people in society, they might do it by giving negative opinions on the ways other people lead their lives, manage their private business, etc.
So far, I have mentioned a number comments made by people. Whatever the expression, they seem narrow-minded. I think, the cut-and-dried opinion is not fair, though we shouldn’t be hypocritical, either. Why should we use sweet words for other people if we do not mean so?
Back to narrow-mindedness, it would be unfair to pass judgment on somebody with no adequate proofs to support it. To be able to give a fair opinion about someone, it is necessary that we should communicate one another. The absence of communication could be the source of wrong judgment and even suspicion.
So, in my opinion, communication is a necessary interaction in social life. It is a process in which meanings are conveyed and perceived, and understandings are reached among the agents of communication. I would like to underline the word ‘understanding’. People badly need it for loving other people.
“Love,” says Dr. Erich Fromm, an American psychoanalyst, “is the only satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” He describes ‘love’ as a noble human activity characterized with the primary tendency to give. The most important act of giving, however, is not in the form of giving material things, but specifically goes deeper into human realm.
What does one person give to another then? It could be his joy, his interest, his knowledge … and his understanding, --- anything that may express and manifest what is alive in him. In that way, people may enrich other people and enhance their sense of aliveness which couldn’t possibly be done only by judging, and saying that something is wrong or bad, could it?
Since no man in the world is perfect, we shall treat our fellow people humanely. We shall have an objective view of others, “the world outside us.” So, again, “not judging but loving” could be a key to a lot of problems in human relationship.
In conclusion, let me share the following quote, which I find it relevant to the day-to-day life, “Ignore a man’s limitation and focus your attention on his strong points, and you rarely go wrong.”