I want to confess about my addiction to Smartphone. My current job has made me do it. I need a Smartphone to connect with people through the Internet, anytime. I need it to keep updating on many social media to make the business works. It works, it really works, and it works well. Almost ninety percent of my early customers come from social media. People do actually come and guess what? My business doesn’t even have a street sign, yet people looks for it.
By having a Smartphone, we are triggered to always update on the current situation: what’s going on around and what’s happen to us. It’s a great temptation to touch it, check something out, and post something through our Smartphone. We are defending ourselves about addiction to Smartphone; we deny that Smartphone has just become our number one partner to our social media. “I’m not addicted to phone. You know, Social Media is kind of my personal gallery, I just want everything posted and I know where I’m looking at when I want to check it, someday. I don’t have any intention to show something off.” Like, that someday will ever come. Do anybody check their Friendster after 10 years? I think it’s one of the reason why Facebook keep reminding you about what happens “One or three years ago” between you and your friends: People rarely check their gallery that has been months posted. Do anybody realize about this? Or is it only me?
There is a thing about social media: It distorts, almost, every-single-thing. We can tell to the world that we have the perfect life and looks: “I’m happy” or “I’m happier than you”. We expect our friends to love our post, to envy our life. We’re craving to be popular, to be important, and to be the attention. Although we have hundred followers and friends, in truth we’re having difficulties to have a great quality face-to-face conversation with a real friend without knowing where our Smartphone is.
Back to my addiction, I constantly look on my phone like every five minutes. I checked whether someone post on WhatsApp, Path, Instagram, -you name it. If I don’t post anything today, I’m afraid that people will start to forget about my business, about what I’m doing, about me. Another thing about social media, they’re giving me rewards about what I’m doing: Likes, Loves, Comment, New Information about peers. Honestly, It feels so good to have hundreds loves and followers, to know and to be known. However, a rapid flow of information is coming through my mind every second. Searching a new piece of information is highly important, and If I’m not doing it, I’m falling behind of my friends. It constantly make me feel overwhelmed by information, yet it’s so much tempting and rewarding.
Until I know I have a disease called Decisions Fatigue. I often forgot what I want to say or, merely do, in a split second. I can’t decide what to think about. I feel anxious and, at the very same time, anticipated any notifications on my phone.
“Neuroscientist has discovered that anticipating those electronics notifications triggers a sweet narcotic dopamine release in our brain almost like any addiction or craving.” Weinschenk (2009)
I can’t decide what to think about. It scares me. I overwhelmed with information, yet I can’t decide what to think. I lose my control on my thought. However, I start to think about how to deal with this disease. What should I do? It drives me nut knowing that time flies while I can’t decide what to think. I know that phone can give me dopamine which is more compelling than using of real narcotics, yet I have to end it. I have to do something to get my control back, I have to manage my attention and focus my energy on important things.
I got an idea about trying to focus on one thing for a certain time, multi-tasking just makes you dumber anyway[1]. I have try couple things that works for me that might work for you, although I’m still in ‘rehab’, It does really helps me and improve my control on my mind:
· When does the last time you hear a new music and give a thought on his lyrics?
Lately, I really likes to hear random indie music that I don’t even know who the singer is. I try to focus on the lyrics and enjoy the melody. I try to imagine the story I heard through the music on my head. It’s almost like playing a movie in your own imagination. Or, when it’s a really random kind of music, I just try to figure out what’s inspiring the singer to make this kind of music.
· Reading A Book.
A book that tells about story. A good friend of mine, once said that there is an important thing about story and why people craving about it: stories are able to transport our mind to another place. I’m getting used to read every night before I go to sleep. I need to get focus on the book to feel transcending to another place. That’s how it works. I suggest you to highlight the important part, and hold your urge to post it under #quotes hash tag on any social media. I know it’s compelling and how rewarding it is when one of your friends gives that emoticon or comment. Anyway if I can’t resist posting it, I will end up staring on my phone screen until someone reacts on my post, or until something else on my timeline distract my mind. At the end, I won’t never finish to read the books and learn anything new.
· Coffee Cupping
I found coffee cupping has been my perfect mind runaway. In an ideal situation, we are not allowed to bring or turn on our phones during coffee cupping. We need full concentration and our focus to notes every characters of the coffee beans. I can say that it’s a really hard things to do, all the coffee beans will smells similar at the very first time. I start to really likes it when I start to learn to notice the difference between very similar beans. Sometimes it’s just a small difference like a hints of floral or fruity, yet when I can tell it’s different, I feel so self-rewarding. I still regularly do coffee cupping on my own and always put my phones away while doing it.
· Writing Things
This article it’s a proof of me battling my addiction. One of my good friend said that I should go back to writing things. “Publisher are looking new books every month, why don’t we give it a try?” She said. I’m confused where I should start. I’m having difficulty to make a decision, remember? I can’t manage my thought, it’s like a lot of idea but useless information. Everythings kept in tiny little fractures in my head. I have to gather my mind. A wise man said to write a book, you should read a thoushand. I start by reading and here I’m: Write things. While writing this article, I put my phone next to me, yet I have spent two hours without checking on it. Yippie!
I know that I’m not alone battling this addiction that could take my life. It’s not only drugs and narcotics that can make you die. You can die dumbly by texting while driving, the fact is 11 teens die every day because of texting while driving[2]. In my opinion, a constant checking on phone could be a sign of depression. Can you imagine why a drug addict uses narcotics more and more? We are craving for attention and instant dopamine.
William James, a philosoper, once said “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”.
In a hustle, fast-changing world, we need something fast to relieve our daily worries. We need to feel apreciated fast, and when we don’t: we get more depressed. It’s just a daily cycle when our Smartphone become our narcotics. I do my own therapy as I mentioned before, yet It could be really hard to do. You will have to face yourself. You’re having a battle with your own desire.
A small advice from me: If you’re feeling depressed and craving for attention instantly, ask your friends (by friends I mean a real human friends, not a random name on social media) to meet face to face and put away your phone for a while, talk and listen : at least for thirty minutes. By doing this, you will get a real conversation and a feeling of appreciation: Someone finally makes a time for you.
[1] “Emails Hurt IQ More than Pot,’” CNN, April 22, 2005,http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/22/text.iq/.
[2] Ins. Institute for Hwy Safety Fatality Facts
