Today I had my psychoterapy session and we talked about why am I always craving and struggling against that morbid need to binge.
Why does it happen?
Well, my psychotherapist answered.
Probably, some of you know about Freud's theory of infants' psychosessual development. It has been widely contradicted, that's true, but the reason why we tend to lose control and binging is close to freudian concept of "oral stage".
Basically: one of the first pleasure we discover is the fulfillment of our instinct to eat. When our rationality is not even remotely sketched out, our body learns that from the stomach comes a strong feeling of a strange muffled calm, an undefined motherly protection.
Theoretically, if you grow up in a psychologically healthy contest, you discover other sources of pleasure and self-validation, and you set aside eating. Namely, eating becomes just feeding your body and loses all its psychological implications.
If you are an adult and still use food as a source of psychological well-being, it doesNOTmean you are a disgusting pig. On the contrary, it means that you are a survivor. Only you know your story. You know what you have been through. You know the nature of the pain that haunts you. Now you know the nature of that need to binge.
Why am I writing this post? Let me come to the point.
It's not your fault. It's not your fault. IT'S NOT YOURFAULT. Not at all. Would you blame a kid for not being able to defeat something he should have never experienced? Don't be silly.
You are a survivor.
I'm telling you this because knowledge is power and if you know the real nature of that morbid need to binge, you understand that your real need is something else. You need peace of mind. And, if I may be honest, you deserve it too.
I don't have the power to take away your sorrow, I've just done all that I could do to help you.
You are a survivor. Keep fighting back, you don't need to binge.
You are not alone, we are all like you. We struggle like you, we suffer like you, we bleed like you.
This hunger is a craving for life that we can face and defeat together.
If you feel alone, if you don't have anyone to talk to, please text me. I truly care. I will be there for you, if you need me.
We can fight back.
