These subtle differences can lead to awkward or tense encounters between tourists and locals. A visitor might interpret an Indonesian's lack of eye contact as avoidance or disinterest, when in fact it reflects humility and deference. As Kumar puts it, "To know another's language and not his culture is a good way to make a fluent fool of oneself."
3. Respect in Action: The Meaning Behind "Cium Tangan"
One of the most distinctive forms of Indonesian politeness is expressed through touch specifically, the gesture of cium tangan, or "kissing the hand."
According to Ridwan (RIDWAN, n.d.), this act is a symbolic gesture of respect, especially from younger people toward their elders. The gesture, in which one lightly presses the elder's hand to their forehead, represents humility, devotion, and a request for blessing. In Javanese and Sundanese families, it is performed daily before school, after prayer, or when greeting parents and teachers.
To an unknowing foreigner, it might appear overly formal or even outdated. But for Indonesians, cium tangan reflects deep cultural roots of hormat  respect which remains central to social life. As Ridwan writes, "The gesture is not simply physical; it is spiritual, connecting generations through affection and reverence."
Unfortunately, when tourists fail to recognize the importance of such customs, they risk appearing disrespectful without meaning to. In religious or rural areas, casual behaviors like joking too loudly, wearing revealing clothes at temples, or addressing elders informally can feel intrusive to locals.
4. When Courtesy Meets Confusion: Real Encounters
Miscommunication often happens not because tourists are rude, but because they apply their own cultural expectations abroad.
Several travelers in Bali were fined for ignoring local temple dress codes or taking selfies in sacred areas. Many said they "didn't know" the rules. While ignorance isn't always malicious, it highlights how tourism sometimes overlooks cultural learning in favor of convenience.
Another example comes from a Jakarta based language instructor who recalled a class of European students struggling to understand why their Indonesian peers rarely interrupted. "In their culture, jumping into conversation shows enthusiasm," she said. "But here, it's polite to wait. Talking over someone can feel disrespectful."
Handriani (2025) note that Indonesian politeness often includes "negative politeness" showing respect through restraint, apology, or silence. Foreigners used to direct debate might interpret that as disengagement. However, within Indonesia's collectivist mindset, restraint is a social skill, not weakness.
