Addiction In Our Life

Addiction, a relentless force that many of us grapple with, has a peculiar way of pulling us away from our own best interests. We find ourselves entrapped in behaviors like bulimia, porn addiction, and alcoholism, fully aware that they undermine our well-being. Yet, during crucial moments, we are unable to resist their siren call. It is only when we emerge from the dark tunnel of addiction that we realize the extent of the damage inflicted upon ourselves, the interests we neglected, and the pain we endured. 

At such junctures, we are left grappling with the question of what steps we can take, what paths we can tread, to reclaim our lives and break free from the shackles of addiction. One approach that resonates with me is the act of noticing.

It may sound strange, but it is a remarkable and often overlooked skill possessed by those who manage to escape addiction's grip. We rarely pay attention to the moments just before our cravings surge. We fail to recognize the significance of what transpired before the insidious desires took hold. However, if we were to dive deep into ourselves, meticulously examining our experiences, we would discover a valuable tool for liberation---a weapon forged by introspection. 

It is an undeniable truth that addiction does not emerge out of thin air; it is invariably born from moments of profound distress. Triggers come in diverse forms---perceived coldness from a partner, disapproval and meanness from a colleague, or the pain of exclusion from social gatherings. These triggers, rooted in emotions like loneliness, shame, rejection, and a gnawing sense of inadequacy, propel us towards self-destructive behaviors. Yet, let us not forget that addiction is merely a response---a desperate attempt to seek relief and evade unbearable anguish. 

For instance, the act of purging food brings a fleeting sense of lightness, immersing oneself in pornography offers a temporary escape through physical highs, and the haze of alcohol intoxication briefly silences the relentless inner critics. 

To break the chains of addiction, we must first recognize that we are in a precarious state long before we succumb to our destructive coping mechanisms. It is a call to become vigilant historians of our emotions, consciously creating a pause between distress and impulsive action. By slowing down the process, we can reclaim agency over our lives and utter the profoundly transformative words, "I am hurting, and I need help now." This simple act of self-awareness is a powerful step forward. 

We need to become historians of our own moods, observers of our own emotions. By slowing down the process, we can interrupt those impulsive actions and say to ourselves, "Hey, I'm upset, and I need to address this now." It's a powerful shift in mindset. From that point of self-awareness, we can begin to dig deeper. What is it that's upsetting us? How are we truly feeling? Sometimes, it takes a moment of stillness, closing our eyes, and allowing the answers to emerge from the depths of our unconscious. Other times, completing a simple sentence like "I'm currently feeling upset because..." can lead to profound insights. 

You know, it's funny how it can take so long for us to truly understand our own emotions and what triggers them. But once we start noticing our distress, we can start the journey of self-soothing in a more compassionate way. We can learn to be there for ourselves, offering the comfort and understanding we never received from others. It's about replacing addiction with self-compassion and genuine understanding. No one falls into the grip of addiction by mere chance. 

There's always a deeper root, often stemming from our early experiences, that fuels our belief in our own unworthiness. And it's that belief that makes it so hard for us to take an interest in our own feelings and well-being. But here's the thing: we can heal the wounds inflicted upon us. We can choose to care about ourselves and explore the depths of our emotions. We can ask ourselves, "How am I feeling about myself? What has happened to make me feel this way?" It's a process of self-discovery and self-compassion. 

Replacing addiction with self-compassion means giving ourselves the love and understanding we never received. It means acknowledging that we are deserving of kindness and empathy. It means understanding that our addiction is not a reflection of our love for the object of our addiction, but rather a desperate attempt to escape the pain that lies beneath. 

It may not be an easy journey, but it's one worth taking. We have the power to break free from the grip of addiction. It starts with recognizing our feelings, realizing when we're in trouble, and delving into the root causes of our distress. It's about finding better, kinder ways to navigate the sense of awfulness that engulfs us.