[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="If you’re always telling them, through indirect actions and comments, that they’re perceived poorly in your eyes, then chances are, they’re going to perceive themselves poorly."][/caption]
Please don’t ever tell a child or teen that they’re lazy, rebellious, or don’t care. Are you inside their head? Do you for certain know they are those things? How do you know that their laziness isn’t emotional or mental exhaustion from a developing mind and body? From pressures at school or family? From a deeper issue you can’t see? How do you know their rebellion isn’t caused by a deep rooted anger or pain they don’t know how to express? How do you know that their rebellion isn’t a desperate attempt to be heard? How do you know they don’t care about anyone but themselves? Are you them? Have you amazingly found a way into a persons mind? Maybe they do care. Maybe caring is exhausting. Maybe they seem lazy because they’re constantly told they are and they don’t feel like they can do anything to change that? Maybe they seem like they don’t care because they feel like there is no point in it anymore? Maybe they have an attitude towards somebody because somebody has the attitude towards them that they’re terrible? How would you feel, if someone always picked you apart like that? Pretty bad, huh? How much more so for a developing mind, who is learning how to perceive themselves from the people around them? What you tell your child about themselves, is what they’re learning to believe. If you’re always telling them, through indirect actions and comments, that they’re perceived poorly in your eyes, then chances are, they’re going to perceive themselves poorly.You’re shaping your child, your person, to be able to take care of themselves. So why would you want to tell them that they’re not good enough to do that? People don’t realize how bad verbal abuse really is. When you tell people they respond with things like “They’re only yelling at you.” or “It’s just words.” and “It’s not like they’re hitting you.” It can be just as bad, or even worse than physical abuse because it’s harder to prove and easier to hide. With mental abuse it gets in your head. They tell you you’re worthless. Useless. Nothing. A waste of air. A waste of space. Not worth their time, or anyone else’s. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking you know everything about somebody, because you don’t.
