Am I Ugly?

I was five years old when I found out that there was an acceptable way for women (and girls) to look. I don’t have many memories from that time, but I remember knowing that there was a certain standard I had to live up to.  I was 10 years old when I tried to make my skin become whiten just because my best friend have a perfect skin and she was so pretty. At some point, I learned that the only acceptable skin color for women is in the “white skin” . I was slightly brown until my aunt tell me that I shouldn’t playing during the day too much it because my skin were already too brown, and playing during the day would only make it worse.