There is 'Ex' in 'Next'

[caption caption="Memories - ilustrasi: thegrovecog.com"][/caption]

Yaasss, moving on is hard. It requires toughness and arduous effort. Nobody can actually move one without totally forgetting the past. As our brain is like a sponge absorbing vast numbers of information. Whilst we are still allowing information to get inside our head, information previously stored become memories. And ouch, memory sometimes hurts. Not that all memories give a twitch to your dear heart, but in case of moving on they do. Memories, sad and happy ones, tend to linger longer. Not to forget those songs, gifts, fragrance, and even rain that somehow bring back the moment you had.

There is 'ex' in 'next'. There will always be someone inside you that makes you are today. The one who gave you so much, but somehow chose another way in life. He or she had actually shaped yourself to become what you are today. Either it was a series of unfortunate events or fortunates one, past had become a bridge to your future. You could never forget him or her. But you are capable to hold back all the feelings to come back. 

Controlling all the feelings ressurected from the memories are tough. Particularly when you are all alone. Without anybody as a company, past memories could come across our mind. Stimulated by old 90's song, your ex's face suddenly reappears in your head. It raises goosebumps in an emotional way. The moment was just right. The feelings you had somehow restored brick by brick. It succesively brings back the awe of the memories. You are being catapult back to the past. The excitement is mounting. But at the same time, sadness nudgeds in.

Sadness and happines is indivisible. You can only feel happy when sadness have ever reigned you. And the heartbreak moment you had with your ex is the one thing you regret when reminiscing the past. Happiness is engulfed by the force of tear. Regret is your reason to refrain further the search of past memories. As sadness is stronger than you expected, you step back and return to the present. However, this heart-boggling search of past memories is addictive.

Opening back old pages could become a lively remedy in your journey of life. Like seeing a photo album of you as a 3 years old brat is fun. But knowing you were so ugly is also disappointing. So as looking back memories from your erstwhile-lover is a fun habit. Though some memories were not worth remembering, they do give you a certain rush to your heart. It is like pushing F5 button on your keyboard to refresh your monitor. You don't see any change. But it gives a placebo-like feeling. Past feelings don't give a cure, but give you something to refresh your perspective.

Not that I suggest you to always remember you ex. It is that any person who was really meaningful to us had shaped us today. Should we thank to them? Subtly yes. But giving them an actual thank you is somewhat a taunt. Don't do that. As we ourselves might be offended accepting thank you from our former-lover. Let he or she lives to the fullest at the moment with the one she or he now loves. Or keep sincere prayers if he or she had passed away, can also become the way to say thank.

You yourself should live your best now. As you don't want to see the one you left frustated on your unwell life today. You want to see your ex also smiles at you knowing you can actually move on. And life goes on for both of you in two distinct worlds. A world once together, is now apart just to know both are growing. 

Regards,

Solo, 22 March 2016

11:34 am