Lemme try to ramble...Just to reduce my stress level. Ever since I owned a smart phone, I haven't been able to stop holding it, browsing the net with it, or lurking around my friends' social media accounts to view their current activities. I'm kinda addicted to it. For sure I know I have a choice, just get rid of it.
However, it's not that simple. Whenever I make a firm decision to get rid of it, my hands keep rummaging my surrounding area trying to grab hold of it again. I have turned myself into a Psycho I guess. In the past, when I wanted to read, I just bought some novels, magazines or newspaper. Now, everything is served right in front of me making me unable to resist the temptation to keep reading whatever free sources I can find on the net. Dear God, help me.
I turn myself into a zombie whenever I find a very interesting novel on the net. I can't stop reading it till I reach the last pages and finish everything at once. I try to stop, but then again I remarkably fail. The cycle keeps repeating itself. This is only about reading materials. I'm not even starting with the streaming videos on the net, be it TV series, music videos or some box office movies I can find for free on the net. Dear God, can You help change 1 day into 72 hours instead of 24? Or maybe more?
I become the real psycho when the news I read on the net turns out pretty much different from what I've expected. I like reading so much, be it about politics, sport, entertainment or other topics. So, when my favorite actor, actress and singer could not win the most prestigious award I expected them to win, I could end up having a bad mood one whole week.
When my most admired politicians could not get the votes they deserved, I wanted to smash the whole things around me. When the best athlete could not win the game, my desire to kill the opponent kept piling up. The more I read, the more I feel agitated. Gee, I need to relax. Dear God, save my soul.
I can imagine the worry faced by parents nowadays when they face their young kids who keep gluing to their smartphones or other gadgets. If an adult like me doesn't even have a self --control over the addiction of smart phones or gadgets, what can you expect from a little kid? So what should I do? Do I need external help or just throw my smart phone away to save my soul from the claws of the "devil?" Did I just call my smart phone a devil? Dear God, you know I'm lost.
At the moment, I can't expect myself to change 180 degrees, to be a totally different person. I'm still attached to my gadget, still browsing the net, watching shared videos, lurking into my friends' social media network looking at their so called happiness, spending time together with their family during holiday or special events.
Trust me, I take a look at most of their pics posted and they seem to be very happy (OMG, I need to spend my time wisely next time). Only later, I find out some are struggling to keep their family together and a few end up in a battle of divorce. Then I realize, my life is not that miserable after all. Did I just compare myself with others? Well, you tend to when you keep some friends on your social media networks especially when you see them posting their achievement and boast to the world about it.
You feel like you're a complete failure and you plan to dig a hole to hide yourself. You can't stop being jealous. Then, after certain time spent for reflection, you realize you're not a failure and you have to have a big heart to congratulate your friends and be happy about it.
That way, you can rise above and accept who you really are. If you can't control the jealousy, take a shortcut like I did back then (Blush blush, I felt embarrassed to admit it) which is getting rid of some of your friends whom you think would bring a bad impact to your life. Well well, at the end I realize I need to change myself into a better person. It's already 2018. In this crucial moment, I need strong encouragement to win over the bad influence of my gadget.
I should not read any comments condemning me being unwise (Please be nice to me, my heart can't take harsh comments). I need to get out of the house more often and see the beauty of the real world out there, not just virtual reality that I seem to enjoy lately. Dear God, please give me the strength.