My dear friend,
There is nothing wrong when we pray for a perfect lover.
Nevertheless, at the same time we have to be fully opened to accept his weaknesses.
We can set our wish as high as we want, but we must ask ourselves:
what effort that we have prepared for the dreaming lover.
My dear friend,
It doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have an eagerness to improve our lives, our marriages, and our loves. However, as the expectation in a marriage getting bigger, it’s getting harder and harder to reach happiness and love.
In contrast, as the commitment in a marriage getting higher, the path leading to happiness and satisfaction will grow wider.
My dear friend,
What is the different between wishes and commitments then? And what are their impacts on our marriage?
Our expectations in a marriage show us what we want from the marriage. When we set our expectation too high, it’s hard for us to accept our loves just the way they are. We will witness them as a person full of weaknesses.
If we marry someone because of his physical charms, then sooner we will lose the softness of our loves as the charms getting faded.
On the other hand, marriage commitment will lead the marriage into level that we want to. Willingness to accept weakness, including opening our heart for lover weaknesses, will make us easier to thank god for the marriage.
My dear friend,
When we open our heart for differences, we will find many similarities.
Accepting differences will make easy for us to see their kindness.
My dear friend,
Let’s give warm attention to our loves, accept them unconditionally, and express them in beautiful words.
My dear friend,
Accept him just the way he is, accept his weaknesses with sincere heart.
Then you’ll find love that is always in bloom beautifully.
Next, try to heal and not to push him to be perfect.
Don’t you think we have weaknesses too? Then how can we that busy pushing our loves to be perfect?
My dear friend
Let’s read a poet bellow:
The man who marries you is not as noble as Rasulullah, not as god-fearing as Ibrahim A.S, and not as stoic as Ayub A.S, as brave as Musa A.S. or as handsome as Yusuf A.S.
In fact, your husband is only a man from the latter day, who has a dream to raise godly children, husband who wants to be a guardian, and you are inside of his spirit.
Your husband is a ship’s captain, and you are the navigator. A husband is just like a naughty toddler, and you are his guidance. When your husband becomes a king, you are the one who relishing his throne.
When your husband becomes “poison”, you are the cure. If your husband is a brash driver, warn him with full of patient. Marriage teaches us how important the faith and god-fearing are,
To learn how to reach patient and ridho from Alloh, because having a husband who is not as brave as Musa will make you realize that,
You are not Siti Khadijah who was perfect in many ways,
You are not Siti Hajar who was so faithful in deep misery,
You are only a woman from the latter day who tries to be sholehah….
