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Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing With Unfinished Business of Your Past

21 Februari 2019   16:15 Diperbarui: 21 Februari 2019   16:19 995 1 1 Mohon Tunggu...
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Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing With Unfinished Business of Your Past
source : Amazon.com

If you lived honestly, your life would heal itself

A week ago, I went to National Library and I found an interested book. The title is Emotional Resilience. I'm getting interested with this book :D, so what is Emotional Resilience? Emotional Resilience refers to one's ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able to "roll with the punches" and adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties; less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes, both major and minor. It's been found that those who deal with minor stresses more easily can also manage major crises with greater ease, so resilience has its benefits for daily life as well as for the rare major catastrophe. We actually ever feel hurt. And in this situation, our self-mechanism work to protect us from the anxiety or pain. We don't face this pain and resolved it immediately (repressed it, denial, etc). and at the current time, our old feelings recharge and ruin our good things. This is the function of learning emotional resilience, because it will help us to : tell the truth, Face life openly (what you avoid imprisons you), Accept yourself as you are (unconditional self acceptance), Accept others as they are (unconditional positive regard), Take responsibility for your life and how it has turned out, Stop trying to prove yourself, let go of the past, Know and accept your weakness, Say what you mean, feel, and believe.

As we know that unexpressed events from the pasts can block our ability to be emotionally free and can get In the way of the natural healing process that is inherent in all of us. Emotional Resilience helps define the forces that block feelings, allowing us to recognize and overcome the obstacles that can create unhappiness and unnecessary tension in our lives. I realized that the name given a painful feeling depended on when the pain occurred. Pain in the future was called anxiety. Pain in the present called hurt and experienced as sadness or disappointment. Finally, pain in the past was called anger. When a person held his anger,it turned on him and was experienced as guilt. Depression was the depletion of energy from holding anger inside. According to that, the same defense that blocked feelings also blocked from knowing or telling the truth. All defense mechanism belonged to three major defense types : denial, blaming, or excuses, and pretenses. Everyone used all these defenses, depending on the kind of pain they were defending and their personality type. When a feeling was not expressed, it created a condition of tension. Emotional stress was simply the pressure of an unexpressed feeling. This condition called "emotional debt".

When you are in emotional debt, you suffer because you are afraid to tell the truth about your feelings. After a while, your defense become more rigid, and it is increasingly difficult to recall the truth. Your withheld feelings distort your life and consume your energy.

There was no such thing as emotional credit, although the more honest a person was, there more resilient he became, and the easier it was for him to endure stress. Two point become clear Emotional illness was a storage disease. The secret of mental health was to tell the person who hurt you that they hurt you, when they hurt you.

 Emotional illness was a storage disease. The secret of mental health was to tell the person who hurt you that they hurt you, when they hurt you.

Many person report how some trigger mysteriously caused old feelings to reappear as if out of nowhere, ruining their good times by paralyzing them with fear or filling them with anger or unresolved hurt. These intrusive emotions had to be feelings that were stored in emotional debt. When these old feelings and attitudes were suddenly precipitated, it was if a prefabricated mental state had suddenly been superimposed on the present. We called this intrusion Toxic Nostalgia and sought to understand and define its dynamics. Although they created a lot of problems when they escaped ,the old emotions released as toxic nostalgia were just attempting to be resolved. It became clear that the amount of stored feelings in Emotional Debt determined the potential for Toxic Nostalgia. It followed from this that any effective therapy had to decrease the volume of old stored emotions and also prevent newer feelings from being withheld. Storing feelings by not expressing them a timely fashion is the mechanism by which you become emotionally damaged.

Toxic nostalgia represented the way these repressed feelings resurfaced in order to be addressed and finally put to rest. It was clear that toxic Nostalgia was the most important element in the natural healing process.

What Are Traits of Emotional Resilience?
Resilience is not a quality that you either do or do not possess; there are varying degrees of how well a person is able to handle stress. Still, there are certain characteristics that resilient people tend to share. Some of the main characteristics are:

*) Emotional Awareness: They understand what they're feeling and why.

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