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“So many ways to avoid work, so little time. College can be a procrastinator’s dream -or worst nightmare.”
I have an innate problem with studying. Every week I sit down to read my 10 pages of biochemistry, or nutritional study, or food chemistry, attempting to be enthusiastic. Yet about 2 or 3 pages into the chapter on carbohydrate, my mind starts to wander, and I have to fight the overwhelming urge to play computer games, cooking, re-read today’s (or yesterdays’) newspaper, or even to clean up my room (an activity which I hate very much).
If this tendencies were troublesome in high school, they’ve become even more so in college. Especially when you stay away from home. With no parent substitute in sight, it’s dangerously easy to turn mild procrastination into a GPA-killing art form. Consider this (unassigned) survey of some archetypal slackers and the result of their ill-fated schemes:
the terminally-in-transition slacker
Favorite excuse: “I’m not used to the college thing yet, so I haven’t done any of the reading. I just need some time to adjust.”
Tragic flaw: Time flies! If you allow yourself too much time to adjust, you’re just wasting your precious youth.
the fatalist
Favorite excuse: “What’s the point in reading this stuff? I won’t remember any of it, anyway. Besides, when I die, nobody will even know if I passed microbiology.”
Tragic flaw: Okay, when you’re dead, microbiology may be irrelevant. But until then, it has a significant bearing on your future (unless, of course, your trust fund makes that degree irrelevant).
the web surfer
Favorite excuse: “FACEBOOK!! I must feed my pet in Pet Society!”
Tragic flaw: Online addiction, which, by the time you’ve checked out your FB, Twitter, G+, blogs, and emails, can cause you to avoid virtually all work. Then again, we are in the Computer Age, so this could be a useful form of slacking. But if slacking is productive, it isn’t really slacking, is it? (What do you think?)
the caffeine addict
Favorite excuse: “I need to be alert to study. I’ll take two Coffemix and a can of Coke (Coke does contain caffeine) to keep me wide-awake.”
Tragic flaw: Enough caffeine will keep you up all night, but just try writing that chemistry paper with shaky hand and heart palpitations. And you’ll be sleeping through that 11 AM Statistic lecture.
the night owl
Favorite excuse: “I should be getting my second wind around 2 AM. That’s when I’ll do my report.”
Tragic flaw: Yeah, right! By 2 AM you’re watching that tacky show or soccer re-runs. Don’t wait for that second wind!
the neat freak
Favorite excuse: “My roommate (or sister/brother) is such a pig! How can I be expected to work with all that crap on the floor? I must organize my workspace. I cannot study if I can’t see the entire surface of my desk and my reflection in the computer monitor.”
Tragic flaw: By the time you have finished cleaning your room and making it a dustless area, it’ll be past-midnight and you’ll be too tired to read those lecture notes.
the classic slacker
Favorite excuse: “Yeah, like I’m going to read fifty pages of this freaking biochemistry. What do they think this is, college?”
Tragic flaw: Um, yes, it is college. The slacker is getting either wised up by failing his/her exam or ends up getting an instant (fake!) degree like those stinky politicians nowadays.
the nature enthusiast
Favorite excuse: “I’m wasting my youth indoors. And by reading all these textbooks, I’m contributing to the industrial travesty that is responsible for the depletion of our nation’s tropical rain forests.”
Tragic flaw: You need a backup career if you want to save the earth.. Channel that energy into environmental activism. Resell those textbooks. Write a paper on environmental issues.
the optimist
Favorite excuse: “So what if I have an appalling GPA-at least I’m happy! Tomorrow I just know I’ll get a brilliant idea for my research.”
Tragic flaw: Then again, you might not. It’s good to be optimistic, but you have to be realistic!
the neurotic
Favorite excuse: “There’s so much reading, but I have physics lab in ten minutes. I’m tired, and I have to walk to Math Faculty, but I haven’t eaten yet - oh, God, I think I’m about to pass out… I haven’t returned the library book and it’s due today… Where is my student planner?! Finals are coming! Papers, papers, papers! Arrrggghhh!”
Tragic flaw: The neurotic ends up with an ulcer and incomplete works. You must chill!
the entertainment-keeper
Favorite excuse: “One more episode of The Big Bang Theory and I’ll start on my paper.”
Tragic flaw: That external hard-disk of yours contains hundreds of things (movies, games, music) that could postpone your study. Store your entertainment files in different hard-disk and keep it away while you’re studying!
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# Written in March 2004, for the first (and only) edition of EasyChronicle, FTP-UGM. I changed it a little bit to make it more relevant with the current situation.
# Dedicated to my little sister. You ARE procrastinating!!! Get that final paper done, baby!
