Men's and Women's Glasses on Contradictory Topic: The Shackles of Femininity and Masculinity in Novels

The writing of a male and female writer will definitely be different because they have different life experiences. In the urban dictionary there is the term, "men written by women," which is defined as a man written by a woman who is really a good person as well as an intersectional feminist who is socially aware and respects women. Men who are written by women do not care about toxic masculinity, often have a presence that gives comfort to those around them, aka the characters are written often according to women's expectations. Meanwhile, when a man writes about women, the urban dictionary says that, "men know nothing about women," which is likened to a blank sheet of paper, meaning that men do not know anything about women. This contradiction is interesting to be discussed further, what if women write crucial things about men, and how do male writers use their perspective to create a discussion about women. In this context, women writers discuss toxic masculinity, while discussions about toxic femininity are written by men.

 The presentation of contradictory issues written by male authors takes a female perspective and women take this male perspective, fair enough in comparison because when writing about these topics, it is possible that the author will describe them differently, depending on gender, there is a possibility that the gender of the author influences the way write about such contradictory topics. In this context, women writers discuss toxic masculinity, while discussions about toxic femininity are written by men. The growing debate about men's and women's gaze has influenced modern storytelling and changed interpretations of past stories and characters. Just as some feminists complain about how women are portrayed in books written by men, an argument can be made that women don't know how to write male characters either. When female writers write male characters in their works, most of them create men in their stories with great and ideal characters according to the standards of what they want a man to be and how women are treated by men. 

"Women like to write men that are just as unrealistic or lacking in depth as men like to write women. This male character has no real personality and is only measured by his ability to meet the needs of the female character..." (Sullivan, 2021).

Male and female writers can write badly about each other's perspective on each other. But when we want to write something, of course we need research and not just writing. Especially when discussing crucial things that represent real life. In the popular novel The Name of The Game by Adelina Ayu with the theme of toxic masculinity represented by the two main characters in the story, namely Zio and Daryll, how both of them try to fight the construction of masculinity that exists in society in their own way. There is always room for men who are usually despised to blend in, there are things that must be paid to be yourself, in this context, they have to face the unfavorable views of many people. Meanwhile, in literary works in the form of a short story by Eka Kurniawan entitled Lesung Pipit and  Kutukan Dapur the collection of short stories Cinta Tak Ada Mati. In both of her short stories, Eka describes the rebellion of the main character who is a woman because of the oppression of the power of men who feel they have power over the female characters in the story that Eka describes through her main female characters, Maharani and Si Lesung Pipit. The patriarchal system that prevails in society, imprisoning them in an unwanted fate, so that the desire to rebel even though in the wrong way arises.

 The concept of gender and the concept of sex are often misunderstood by the general public, even though they have different constructions. If the concept of sex leads to nature and is related to biology, the concept of gender is something dynamic, interchangeable and changing. Gender is a social construction formed in society to produce differences in functions, roles, responsibilities, and status between men and women (Alamsyah et al., 2007). But the concept has not fully worked out because in the society that formed the concept of gender, there are also stereotypes that are closely related to the role of men and women's roles in society. Unfortunately, these stereotypes are not all beneficial, there are many bad stigmas that arise, which eventually lead to bias.

 This gender bias means that there is one gender that is prioritized and often benefits from existing inequality, this can be detrimental to both men and women in carrying out their roles in the surrounding environment. In a patriarchal society, a man will live a privileged life where he is considered the standard for human experience and a woman will live a subservient life, in which she is defined only in relation to men. But what if the existing patriarchal system also affects men's problems. Forcing men and women to conform to gender roles is damaging because it leads to the belief that these roles represent the truth, causing gender stereotypes to persist. It also forces men and women to experience life only from their point of view as men or women, not as human beings. Gender roles are hard to get rid of, but some male writers have tried to see life from a woman's point of view, as well as women who have tried to put themselves in a position to write their point of view on men's issues. Forcing men and women to conform to gender roles is damaging because it leads to the belief that these roles represent the truth, causing gender stereotypes to persist.

Just like in the novel The Name of The Game, the characters Zio and Daryll who have different temperaments, but the two men written by Adelina Ayu, the female writer who created Zio and Daryll are 'perfect' according to the definition of 'men written by women,' which where Zio's and Daryll's characters both don't care about toxic masculinity. Both ignore the prevailing masculinity stereotypes. The representation of feminist men described by Adelina Ayu through the characters of Zio and Daryll is a real picture of what if a man does something that is not masculine and there are still many men out there who secretly do something that grazes towards feminists, because they don't want their masculinity side to peel off. Anyone and anything who adopts the feminine is definitely underestimated because the awareness of femininity in society is still low. Many people still think that feminine means soft, weak, whiny. 

Though feminine also means warm and loving. As a female writer who discusses men's issues, Adelina describes the male character in her story as having an 'unreal' physique and perfect nature, meeting the criteria of 'men written by women'. Zio and Daryll are both portrayed as attractive men who don't care about the construction of masculinity in society, both characters are the dreams of most women. Sullivan's opinion (2021) on how female writers describe male characters, that women often write male characters is unrealistic, has no real personality and is only measured by his ability to meet the needs of female characters, that is in both Zio and Daryll's picture. But Adelina still represents the issue of mainstream toxic masculinity in accordance with the facts that exist in the real world. If most writers of popular literature in the genre of young-adult fiction always use the same formula how they describe the main male character in the story, namely; a mysterious, aggressive, strong alpha male, popular for his good looks and mischief, becomes the leader of a gang, which highlights his masculinity side. This story actually tries to peel of the true masculinity that every man should have and create a new definition of masculinity.

Meanwhile, in Eka Kurniawan's short story Lesung Pipit and Kutukan Dapur, the main female character in the story is described as a great woman who rebels against the patriarchal shackles she is facing. In this story, Eka creates a great female character who is far from the public perception that women are weak creatures who need male protection. The rebellion carried out by the Maharani figure in the Kitchen Curse was carried out because of pressure from her husband who felt he had power over the Maharani. These patriarchal shackles prevented Maharani from being free to do what she wanted, which led to revenge by poisoning her husband's food. 

On the other hand, Si Lesung Pipit as the main female character who feels that her youth's freedom has been taken away because she feels she has to help her father overcome the problem, which is having to pay his father's debt to the person in power in the story, then he rebels by sacrificing himself. From this it is concluded that the existing patriarchal system in society has a bad impact on both women and men. In shaping the character and themes raised by Eka Kurniawan, he really puts himself in the right perspective. Dispel the notion that men know nothing about women. Feminist critics feel the need to emphasize how difficult it is for men to really imagine what women are going through. It's quicker to smell preemption, than legitimate empathy, whenever a male writer tries to represent a female point of view. They fear that they will perpetuate stereotypes, so that the patriarchal side may have the last word or at best, steal the insight female writers deserve to express themselves.(Lange, 2008)