To my dear expatriate friends in Indonesia,
I am writing this to let you know what I have been feeling for so long. You see, I love hanging out with you. I love making friends with many people. To me, cultural differences are lessons to learn. I may never understand everything, but at least I am trying to accept and tolerate some things -- as long as I still find them harmless.
I know you only mean well. I know you are just joking. I can understand your frustration in this matter. You feel like most of my people are too laid-back that they tend to take time for granted. They seem to not appreciate other people's time, because they tend to show up late a lot. It has become a common bad habit that sometimes, they do not feel the need to apologise at all.
I dislike that either. In fact, I always feel bad when I do that, mostly unintentionally. As much as I can, I am working on to be more punctual -- or early when possible.
However, you should not have been that rude when I showed up late for dinner by joking: "That's alright. You're allowed to be late. You're Indonesian."
What was that all about? Whether you intended that as a joke or a sarcasm, I found that an insult.
Then another event took place. This time, I tried to show up on time and thankfully I managed. But why did you have to look so shocked? You also made this comment:
"You're not a normal Indonesian."
Excuse me? What was that supposed to mean? Perhaps once again, it was either a joke or a compliment...or even both. Still, that came out wrong. When I hear something like that, I feel like being excluded from my own people. I am also sad that you find it hard to believe that there are still indeed punctual Indonesians.
When I turned up early at another event with you, I got called 'an anomaly'.Perhaps you had meant it as a joke or a compliment. Still, I felt sad and alienated.
No, I do not want to feel superior towards my Indonesian peers for being more punctual than they are. This is not just to prove that not all Indonesians are tardy.
