This morning, a message I read on my phone threw me off balance. It was from a passing acquaintance, offering a job as Head of HR in a growing company. Without thinking, I declined the offer, citing having just given birth as the main excuse. But of course it wasn't the only reason.
To a homemaker such as I, who has resigned from the corporate world for nearly a decade, being offered a job is as flattering as it is excruciating. The world out there is changing; it's moving forward. Even though I still have interests in the fields I was working in, my job experience belongs to the past. To be offered a job when I'm no longer relevant to the field/industry is flattering because it feels good to be remembered, and considered among other candidates. It is excruciating because I have only one answer to that kind of offer.
No, I cannot work in an office for the time being. Who will take care of my family if I do?
The fact that women have to choose once they start a family is upsetting in many ways. It's either the job or the kids. It's either the office or the family. It seems hard to have both and it is unfair when men do not have to make the difficult choices.Â
Although the gender roles and responsibilities are slowly shifting in recent years, most men never have to answer the following questions once they have children:
If the children are still babies or relatively young ~
1. Who will watch the children when you work?
2. Who will feed/bath/play with them?
Additional questions once the children start attending school ~
1. Who will take them to and pick them up from school or other extra lessons?
2. Who will help them with their homework/school assignment/study?
