My dear friend,
There is nothing wrong when we pray for a perfect lover.
Nevertheless, at the same time we have to be fully opened to accept his weaknesses.
We can set our wish as high as we want, but we must ask ourselves:
what effort that we have prepared for the dreaming lover.
My dear friend,
It doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have an eagerness to improve our lives, our marriages, and our loves. However, as the expectation in a marriage getting bigger, it’s getting harder and harder to reach happiness and love.
In contrast, as the commitment in a marriage getting higher, the path leading to happiness and satisfaction will grow wider.
My dear friend,
What is the different between wishes and commitments then? And what are their impacts on our marriage?
Our expectations in a marriage show us what we want from the marriage. When we set our expectation too high, it’s hard for us to accept our loves just the way they are. We will witness them as a person full of weaknesses.
If we marry someone because of his physical charms, then sooner we will lose the softness of our loves as the charms getting faded.
On the other hand, marriage commitment will lead the marriage into level that we want to. Willingness to accept weakness, including opening our heart for lover weaknesses, will make us easier to thank god for the marriage.
My dear friend,
When we open our heart for differences, we will find many similarities.
Accepting differences will make easy for us to see their kindness.
My dear friend,
Let’s give warm attention to our loves, accept them unconditionally, and express them in beautiful words.
My dear friend,
Accept him just the way he is, accept his weaknesses with sincere heart.
Then you’ll find love that is always in bloom beautifully.
Next, try to heal and not to push him to be perfect.
Don’t you think we have weaknesses too? Then how can we that busy pushing our loves to be perfect?
My dear friend
Let’s read a poet bellow:
The man who marries you is not as noble as Rasulullah, not as god-fearing as Ibrahim A.S, and not as stoic as Ayub A.S, as brave as Musa A.S. or as handsome as Yusuf A.S.
In fact, your husband is only a man from the latter day, who has a dream to raise godly children, husband who wants to be a guardian, and you are inside of his spirit.
Your husband is a ship’s captain, and you are the navigator. A husband is just like a naughty toddler, and you are his guidance. When your husband becomes a king, you are the one who relishing his throne.
When your husband becomes “poison”, you are the cure. If your husband is a brash driver, warn him with full of patient. Marriage teaches us how important the faith and god-fearing are,
To learn how to reach patient and ridho from Alloh, because having a husband who is not as brave as Musa will make you realize that,
You are not Siti Khadijah who was perfect in many ways,
You are not Siti Hajar who was so faithful in deep misery,
You are only a woman from the latter day who tries to be sholehah….
My dear friend,
There is a role that we have to do when we married.
There is a room to share. There is a room to improve each other.
And not complaining each other, or calling weaknesses. Try to understand his mistake. It will make him easier to fix it. Even though, it doesn’t mean we let him in mistake. Give him some supports and tenderness, which make him brave and confident in facing challenges in front of him.
Show him that we respect him with all of our heart, accept him unconditionally, willing to understand and accompany him. Accept him just the way he is. Accept all his weaknesses with heart opened, then, we’ll find love that is blooming beautifully. My dear friend,
Many little things that we think we have given for him, in fact, those are far away from our thought.
We think that we have been listening, in fact, we are only listening to ourselves. We think that we have given solution, in fact, we only initiate new problems.
We think we have given a way out, in fact, we are only full of judgment. We think we have given an answer, in fact, we give him another question.
We think we have given efforts to ease, in fact, we just make everything heavier.
Are those true? ====
My dear friend,
Wealth is inside our soul.
And the chip of wealth is generated from willingness to accept unconditionally,
With the wealth of soul, it is easier for us to show empathy, easier to understand, easier to share, and easier to listen with full of heart.
My dear friend,
Today, when we are dreaming about a romantic marriage. While the connection between our heart and our love ones is vulnerable, have we thanked him?
Have we expressed our apologies upon our mistakes?
If we have not, start with apologizing upon our mistakes and call him with a loving nickname.
Start from the easiest, the most trivial or even the smallest thing, to make love in our family start growing, to make love blooming in our lives.
May Allah protect us from complaining differences without comprehensive understanding.
May Allah keep us away from destroying activities that make us keep in busy.
And may Allah strengthen feeling bond amongst us with loves, pureness, and willingness to accept dissimilarity.
*Inspired by articles somewhere, sometime in the past. **This message was proposed by a woman who is my friend to be dedicated to her dearest friend. So... please think this message is from a woman to all desperate housewifes in the whole world, and do not think that this is from me.
